How to deal with Toxic people

The best solution seems to ignore or to walk out of this relationship altogether. But what if it’s not possible? What if it’s your close family who you cannot just ignore? Let’s take a look.

1st way –Set the boundaries

Establishing boundaries is the best solution for those who have toxic relationships inside the family. Schedule the time you spend with a toxic person in your family. When doing so, think about yourself. When is it comfortable for YOU to talk to them? How long is it suitable for YOU to spend time with them?

Toxic people often manipulate your time, trying to steal more of your attention and disregarding your personal plans and arrangements. So, set the boundaries of how much time and your undivided attention your person has. When their time is over – go on with your life.

2nd way- Assert yourself

While the first solution is about avoiding confrontation, here you can’t get out of it.

Confrontation, however, shouldn’t be in the form of aggression or rudeness, at least, from your perspective. You merely tell them directly that you are focusing on YOUR needs right now.

You can also be more straightforward and talk about your feelings, say that you feel drained after talking to this person and that they ignore their advice. You care about them, but you don’t see a reason why you should discuss their particular problem since they don’t want to do anything with it.

3rd Way –Try Modelling their behavior

The word ‘try’ is crucial here. Essentially, you will try tricking them into stopping behaving the way they do. So, let’s say you have a toxic person in your life who is a complainer. Here’s how you can model their behavior.

Call your friend and start telling them immediately about your problem. After a few minutes, stop yourself and tell them, “I’m sorry, I’ve been talking only about my problem. How are things with you?”

Doing this several times could model the behavior that you’re looking for – they would start understanding that they only talk, However, trying to teach toxic people a lesson by having their behavior backfire at them doesn’t always work since such people often remain ignorant of your wants and needs about themselves and being egotistic.

4TH Way- Thrive on support

It’s highly unlikely that all people around you are toxic. So, change your focus.

Spend more time with people who show their support and have your back. If you find it hard to walk away from a toxic relationship, spending more time with positive and supportive people in your life will give you more confidence to walk away from toxic friends or relatives.

5th Way – Walk away

While the first four solutions focused mainly on preserving a good or neutral relationship with these people, this one won’t likely have this effect.

This way out of a toxic relationship doesn’t fit every situation, and you should choose it only if you’re ready to part ways with this person.

You will feel horrible doing it. It will feel rude and selfish. But there is no egoism in this solution. Admit that you’ve tried to help, you’ve been a good friend, but they still ignore your efforts. So, it’s time to move on.

What will be the after effect?

Most likely, in the eyes of a toxic person, you will look like the biggest villain.

And, if you’re an empathetic person, you’ll most likely feel horrible.

But look at it from a different perspective. Freeing yourself of a toxic person feels like a breath of fresh air for your mental and emotional health. Acknowledge that you did everything you could to help and to save this relationship. But now it’s time to move on and think more about your well-being.